Manners Matter

It's about time I went on a good old rant. Some people make me so angry! The following is a list of things that drive me INSANE. Beginning with...


5. Hipsters. Scarves, Skinny Jeans, and Oversized 3-D glasses make me shudder. These "Ironic Individuals" are trying to make a statement about something...not quite sure what. We can all do without the depressing sepia photography and cat memes thank you very much.
4. Ignorant Bullys. Who doesn't love to hate a bully. I used to try the whole "I feel bad for them because maybe they had a sad past" thing, but then I realized we all have sad pasts. Get over it and stop picking on the cute nerdy kids.
3. Self Absorbed and Vain. These are the people who think "I am Oh-So lovely. Let me flaunt myself to the world". Those little narcissists have 17,000 pictures on Facebook, loudly state how bad they look in an obvious attempt to gain complements, download the mirror app onto their iPhones, and wear only brand named clothes. Ick.
2. Self Righteous. Anybody ever sat through a fireside or lecture and had to listen to countless "Guess What I Did" stories? Do you get sick of pictures being shoved down your throat? This is me scuba diving! Here I am on a mountain! I met famous people! And oh, somehow it all relates to whatever the topic is. Something like, "Well one time I was in Japan with my millionaire friend who paid for the whole trip, and we were in this restaurant where I tried the most rare and expensive sushi in the world, and it almost killed me but then Morgan Freeman gave me CPR and we went skiing in the Fuji Mountains. What can you learn from this lesson? Anyone? Anyone? You learn that if you're having a hard time in life, someone will help you feel better. Any questions?" Just shoot me now. Sitting through an hour of that is not worth the Oatmeal Raisin cookie your wife baked. And Finally,
1. Obnoxious and Oblivious. These people live in their own little world. That includes talking on the phone in the library, running around the Chapel on Sunday, chewing with their mouth open, cutting in lines, and listening to music too loud on the bus (and not even good music, the kind of music that makes me long for the 50's). Sometimes when I get frustrated with these idiotic cavemen, I imagine them all in a room that smells like mildew and laundry lint- Its 115 degrees, and they are wearing itchy polyester pant suits that give them wedgies and still have all the tags attached. Little scorpions run around their ankles, while Geico commercials play on an overhead projector over and over. The only thing to eat of course is ketchup and tofu- but no utensils are around. That is when my brain calms down and I can breathe again.  And this is all I have to say on the matter. Goodnight.